Human...

I'm human... Sometimes I pretend I'm not. I think I can float above the struggles caused by human weakness and frailty. The funny thing about this scenario is that reality ALWAYS brings me back down to earth and sometimes I crash hard. 

This picture was a month ago. I was trying to get to a certain goal weight for a dietbet I was part of. I basically starved myself all day and ran in the heat to lose 5 lbs in one day. Ha ha. Totally unhealthy I know. I signed up for the challenge and bet $100 that I would lose 4% in 4 weeks and after birthday celebrations (mine and Adams, which I didn't take into consideration when I signed up for the dietbet) I just missed the mark and was not where I needed to be. I was determined not to "cheat" but to really hit the weight. Physically I made the goal by the end of the day but mentally I think it set me up for a breakdown. I will get into this on another post but really what it came down to was that I wasn't taking care of myself emotionally or mentally so I dealt with life by turning to food for comfort. 

I have since gained almost 10 lbs (I say it's really 5 because I lost a fake 5 lbs in one day) I tried hard not to let this get me down and depressed but have just enjoyed my life the last while with my kids and summer fun. I do feel super uncomfortable in my body though. I am ready to change. 

Today I sit here and type with renewed determination. I am ready to hit my goal weight and give support to my mentality and deal with life's stressors in a positive healthy way. 

I'm starting FMD tomorrow. I will do two consecutive rounds and hopefully hit my goal weight by the end and before a business trip I will take. 

More importantly I am working through a book I found by Marianne Williamson called "A Course in Weight Loss" which gives me 21 spiritual lessons to become more in tune and connected with my highest power. It's heavy work but healing so I'm excited about it. 

I am excited to drive forward to a healthy Ashley. I recognize that where I am at right now is exactly where I need to be and I also realize I cannot and should not do this on my own. I do not regret the past only glad I get to learn from it. I have a great support system and desire to conquer but most importantly I have a loving God who will aid me and help me along my way. What support do you have in place to catapult you to your health goals?  I would love to hear what gets you motivated.